One of the ways my husband and I enjoy spending time together is by watching Instagram videos.
He pre-screens them and shares only the best with me. We are both fully aware this adds little value to our minds, yet somehow becomes an investment in our relationship. Occasionally I will venture into the land of videos on my own. Without Adam screening them for me, I have found there is a lot more junk out there than I was aware of.
I was struck recently by the number of videos that are intended to be funny but come at the expense of a spouse or child.
I have to admit, at times I have laughed at videos such as these. Many of the situations displayed on camera are relatable and there is something enjoyable about shared experiences. Finding out we are not alone in some of our most ridiculous experiences can be genuinely funny! However, I was reminded of an important truth after watching a video that missed its intended mark. Words have power.
Even if our intention is to get a laugh, and we don’t mean it, what we say matters.
When I think about what Scripture says about the tongue, the book of James always comes to mind first. James chapter three famously speaks to the tongue’s ability to metaphorically set fires and steer ships. This is just a small snippet of what Scripture has to teach about the power of our words. There are more than thirty additional passages that talk about the importance of what comes out of our mouths.
Psalms 19:14 (NLT) says, “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Jesus says in Matthew 12:36 (NASB), “But I tell you that for every careless word that people speak, they will give an account of it on the day of judgment.” Ephesians 4:29 commands, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
There is no doubt about it, our words matter.
At the same time, I am a firm believer that God has a sense of humor. One of the elements I love the most about the tv series The Chosen is the way they depict Jesus teasing and joking with children and his disciples. While we do not have an actual record of such interactions, I agree with this portrayal of our Savior. The human need to laugh comes across in all cultures. It is a part of who we are. We are made in God’s image, so it is not hard to believe He loves to laugh as much as, if not more than we do.
As a family, we love to laugh together.
Adam and I have always teased the kids. No one can make them laugh the way their daddy does. Now that they are older, they are learning how to be playful and teasing with us while still being respectful. I want our family to always be able to laugh together, but I also need to remember that our words matter. I need to start paying more attention to how we choose to find laughter. Does it come by way of tearing one another down? Does anyone feel even the slightest twinge of hurt, even if our intentions are pure? Do we all walk away feeling better from being together, or worse?
There is always a risk that we can take things too far—be too cavalier or too cautious.
I think it is important to keep laughter as a priority in our home but to also keep in mind the power of our words. Because I believe in a God who laughs, I am confident we can indulge in humor while also loving well.
What makes you laugh? What do you think God’s reaction would be to your style of humor? Would He laugh along with you, or might He choose to not participate with you?
A lot to unpack with this one especially for this passive aggressive. What we take in can be harmful but what we speak can devastate many.
I have had to do a lot of work in myself with the passive aggressive default. There is a level of vulnerability required to say what we really mean but it consistently leads to better communication.