Joy and Sadness go Together in Ways we cannot Avoid

This photo of my daughter and her two friends from 2017 elicits deep mixed emotions in me. It was taken right at the end of our first year in Haiti. There is a great joy over the memory of this time in our lives. The two girls with Samantha still hold a very special place in my heart. I love the simplicity the photo represents, a day of playing dress-up and posing for photos. A sweet moment when the struggles of life were pushed to the side and joy reigned supreme. 

This photo also brings a deep sense of pain and sadness to my heart. Almost five years have passed, and so much has been lost since that day. I grieve the loss of youth, the loss of innocence, the loss of time, the loss of closeness, the loss of relationship. Not one of these girls is the same today as she was in that picture. This is not entirely a bad thing. Growing up is part of God’s plan for all of us. We know there are new and special moments that come with each stage of development.

Watching a child grow over the years will always be a mix of joy and sadness.

Whether you are a parent, an aunt or uncle, family friend, or volunteer in a program that allows you to walk with a child as they grow into adolescence and then adulthood, there will always be moments that you want to remember forever, and moments that you wish you could take away or protect them from. We cherish and celebrate first steps, first time riding a bike, first day of school, watching them learn to play a sport or an instrument, first school dance, and so many more moments along the way. We grieve with them when they are hurt by a friend, when they are left out or made fun of, when they make poor choices and then suffer the consequences, or when someone breaks their heart.

Growth is a beautiful mix of glorious moments and painful lessons.

Reflecting on all of this has made me think about God as our Father and what moments He might cherish as He watches us grow. I imagine him taking “mental snapshots” of times that were important to Him. The first time one of His children hears about Him and her (or his) heart really takes it in; the first time she prays and really meant it; the moment she asks Him to be Lord and Savior of her life with full understanding of what that means; the first time she chooses Him instead of doing what she wanted; the day she was baptized.

As He is so much greater than I am,  I can only imagine the way His heart swells with love even more than mine would over these cherish-able moments. 

It also makes me wonder which moments break His heart. Maybe the first time a child chooses to tell a lie when she knows it is wrong. When she makes a choice that betrays or hurts a friend. When she ignores that prompting of His still small voice and makes a bad decision instead. I imagine these things and so much more break God’s heart. 

As much as these photos bring mixed emotions for me, I am so thankful for them.

I want to hold onto these memories forever and keep the feelings that go with them. I cannot separate the joy from the sadness. The two are eternally connected because of the love and depth of relationship that were present.

Loving well means soaking in the moments when we are together and knowing that sense of longing when we are apart.

It means remembering who these girls are in their core no matter what comes out of them today. Loving well means opening up your heart and letting someone in no matter what the consequences may be. God does that for each and every one of us in bigger ways than we could ever imagine. The least we can do is be willing to walk in the joy and sadness that comes with loving each other well here on earth while we still have the chance.