Over the last few months my family has become very busy.
Every night of the week we have something on the calendar. Going non-stop means the chores and tasks we would normally complete during the week now bleed into the weekend. Commitments fill our days and nights leaving little time for each other, much less anyone else.
I have found myself taking on a posture of head down and push forward. This allows me to survive but not thrive. In this manner I manage to get through every day and even end up with a sense of accomplishment from time to time. However, I have found myself also experiencing a deepening sense of loneliness. The more I “do” and “go” the less time I have to spend with the people in my life that are part of my unique community.
I am confident that I am not alone in this.
As a society, there is an expectation for our kids to be involved in multiple activities. Colleges want to see applicants who are “well rounded” and involved in more than just school work. Extra activities for kids means extra commitments for parents too. We work long hours at the behest of our employers and at the command of an ever inflating economy. We commit time to exercise, complete household chores, and sleep.
Inherently, there is nothing wrong with any of these activities. Music, sports, volunteering, and leadership opportunities all contribute to strong personal growth and development in both ourselves and our children. Exercise is a good and necessary part of a healthy life. And, we are all too aware of what life looks like when we lack necessary sleep!
The problem arises when we find ourselves surrounded by tasks and not people.
God created us to live in community with one another. The end of Acts chapter two tells us about the foundations of the early Church. Fellowship, or being tougher as a community, was a big part of their identity. Verse 46 tells us, “Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts.” Being together with other people is an important part of God’s design for our lives.
Ecclesiastes 4 lays out the benefits of not pushing through life on our own. Our work is better when we do it together. If one person is struggling, another can help lift him or her up. We can accomplish together that which we cannot do alone. When we choose to do life in community we find encouragement (Romans 1:11-12); we find accountability (James 5:16, Hebrews 10:24-25). Community gives us a strength we do not have on our own (Proverbs 17:17, Galatians 6:2). We also find growth as we challenge one another in our pursuit of Christ (Proverbs 27:17).
Even the academic community points to our need for connection through true community.
In 2018 the American Psychological Association published an article stating, “…relationships have the power to influence physical and mental health.” They even stated, “…social disconnection is at least as harmful to people as such well-accepted risk factors as obesity, physical inactivity and smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.”1 No wonder God made it clear that it is important to have deep and meaningful connections with people around us!
In my busy life, it has been easy to ride the express train of my daily routine, leaving community and connection behind.
I know I am not better for it. When I don’t connect with others I don’t laugh as much, I am more stressed, and fun disappears from my life. It is time to slow down, and once again connect with my community.
How have you seen a difference in your life between when you are well connected with others and when you are caught up in your own hustle? Would an honest assessment of life right now paint you as well connected, isolated, or somewhere in between? How can you take one step toward community today?
When we make space for things of God he always shows up to fill the space. He will not force us to create the space or time, but when we do His grace a peace have always shown up. We have to be still but He is always there.
Busyness is always an enemy of stillness. I can only imagine all of the opportunities and interactions I have missed because I was too busy pushing too hard at getting “things” done.
Having recently lost two important members of my “inner circle”. due not to death but to disagreement I have realized how very important it is to have a smaller community who will speak truth without judgement into my life and allow me to do the same with them. I didn’t realize how very important it was to have these people until they were gone. We also need the larger community to come along side us, help lift us up and allow us to help lift them as well.
Living in community, both large and inner circle seems to be a theme every where I look. Pastor Stan Tharp’s sermon series “A Sound Mind” is emphasizing the need for community. And Harris Falkner’s “9 Rules of Engagement” does the same. Her Rule #1 is Recruit your Special Forces, or what I called my inner circle above. Living a Godly Life was never intended to be done alone.
What a great confirmation of the importance of community!