Is it Better to Keep a Commitment or to Guard our Hearts?

This year, our pastor asked the entire congregation to participate in a twenty-one day fast.

What was fasted was left up to each individual. After spending some time praying about it, I felt God was asking me to give up caffeine and coffee. (That meant no decaf either!) Being a coffee lover and having just started a job in a coffee shop this was not easy! But I was firm in my commitment and found a way to make herbal tea tolerable. 

Toward the end of the fast we gathered together as a church for a special night of worship. It was a wonderful service and felt like the culmination of this time of fasting. But it wasn’t. We still had 3 days to go after the service. By that time I was struggling pretty hard. I could sense there had been a significant shift in me after the worship service. No longer was I abstaining from coffee and caffeine as a pursuit of God, but out of sheer stubbornness. I had made a commitment and I was going to stick to it. However, it was very clear to me that my motivation came from avoiding guilt and/or being able to say I did it. 

Realizing this shift in my heart and mind I began to wonder, at what point is it better to break a commitment to God than to keep the pledge without any heart behind it?

After all, is it clear through Scripture that integrity is important to God. Proverbs is riddled with verses about keeping our commitments. God continues with His instruction to us about maintaining integrity in the New Testament as well. 2 Corinthians 8:21 says, “For we aim at what is honorable not only in the Lord’s sight but also in the sight of man.”

However, there are also many verses about God’s focus on our hearts. Jeremiah 17:10 says, “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” Hebrews 4:12-13 tells us, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.”

So what are we supposed to do?

Keep our commitment to God no matter what, or let go of an undertaking when it changes from drawing us closer to God to being a hindrance in our relationship with Him?

To be clear, I am not talking about vow-level commitments.

There are some promises in life that in God’s eyes there is no backing out. Our relationship with God, marriage, and raising children in the way of the Lord are not the kind of commitments we can let go of, no matter how hard they get. 

After meditating on this conundrum I came to the conclusion there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

There will be times when what we committed to gets hard, and what God wants us to do is call on His name to help us overcome the struggle. Other times, when the struggle threatens to turn into bitterness and resentment, He may have us take a step back and reassess. The only way to know is through prayer. Each circumstance and situation will require a time of honest and vulnerable prayer to know what God wants us to do. The answer won’t always be the same. It also won’t always be the easy way out. 

Above all, we serve a God of grace and love.

I am confident if we take our concerns to Him, He will give us direction and the ability to do what He knows is best for us.

Where do you tend to land when it comes to commitments? Are you more likely to keep your word no matter the cost, or do you abandon ship at the first sign of difficulty? Would you be willing to seek God’s desire for you in each circumstance no matter what cost might come with it?