The kickoff of the holiday season is less than a week away.
For many of us, the next five weeks will be filled with a variety of holiday parties and events. Hospitality will take center stage as people across the globe become more intentional about gathering together and celebrating the holidays.
The word hospitality borrows from the Latin word hospitālitāt meaning “entertainment of guests.” Entertaining guests has its own unique look for each of us. For some, it involves red Solo cups and disposable flatware. For others, it means breaking out the fine china, silver, and crystal. Some of us decorate our homes extensively, inside and out, while others keep the decor to a minimum.
Whether we keep it simple or go all out, hosting for the holidays can be challenging.
Our lives are often already bursting at the seams with activities. Add on school band and choir performances, dance recitals, church plays, and a host of other events that seem to pop up at this time of year, and it is easy to become overwhelmed. How are we supposed to find time to throw a great party for our co-workers/friends/family with all of these events going on in our lives? If you are anything like me, what is supposed to feel like the most wonderful time of the year feels a whole lot more like being plopped into a pressure cooker.
Don’t get me wrong; I want to participate in all of these activities! I love having people in my home and seeing them gather around the table or spread across the living room. I want the people who enter my home to feel comfortable, relaxed, and loved. My home should be filled with smiles and laughter, crafting memories we will recall together in the years to come.
The problem is, in my desire to manufacture the perfect environment, I end up missing the most important piece of hospitality—the people.
In the Bible, hospitality is linked with loving well (Titus 1:8, 1 Peter 4:8-9). It is so easy for me to get caught up in the details and stress of hosting. I want the house to be clean beyond what I require for my family on a day-to-day basis. I strive for the right quality, quantity, and variety of food to please everyone. And, I want the environment I present to my guests to feel welcoming and comfortable.
All of these desires are admirable; however, all too often I let these details translate into something they shouldn’t.
I stress over what dishes to make and want to ensure they are made perfectly. I hyper-focus on details like what music to play and at what volume. Is the temperature of the house ok? Should I light a candle or put oils in the diffuser? People begin to arrive, and I am often still running around trying to finalize last minute details my husband assures me no one else will notice or care about. I can get so caught up in doing that I miss just being with my guests.
Creating an inviting atmosphere for family, friends, and/or guests is part of loving them well.
The important aspect to remember is that the greatest way to show love is to be fully present. Martha was not wrong to prepare a meal for Jesus and his followers when they came to her home, but what He wanted more than a good meal was to spend time with her (Luke 10:38-42). It can be easy to get so caught up in performing for our guests we forget to just be with them and enjoy their company.
This holiday season what practical steps can you take to find the balance between being the “hostess with the mostest” and just being with your people? What are the biggest struggles you face when it comes to social gatherings during the holiday season?
The most important thing is to not volunteer to host your family’s gathering without first checking with your spouse.
The other thing is to “stay liquid”. In other words, be prepared for changes. When you have multiple family members they may not always conform to your expectations. That’s not a crisis, it’s only a chance for improvisation.
Checking with your spouse is a must for sure!