Are we Willing to pay the Price to Love our Neighbors with our Whole Hearts?

My breath caught in my throat and I did my best to hold back the sobs, but I could not keep the tears from running down my cheeks.

 This was it. After more than three years of full-time missionary service it was time to go “home”. As our plane took off from Haiti with us and what was left of our belongings packed inside of it, my heart felt like it was tearing in two. The higher the airplane ascended, the deeper the wound in my heart grew.

I had been blessed to know we were leaving.

There was time to prepare,time to pack. There was time to say goodbye and soak in the last moments together with those I had come to love deeply. I had watched others leave and realized there was a natural progression to the leaving process. Long before boxes were packed, hearts often began to close. Distance crept into relationships that had previously been tight knit. It was easy to judge those leaving for how the relationships they had spent so long investing in had deteriorated. However, when I found myself in the role of the one saying goodbye, I now understood their experience.

It was a matter of self-preservation. By slowly withdrawing from others, we protect our hearts from breaking wide open. As relationships fade, the ties holding us to a place weaken. The final tearing away becomes less intensely painful. It made sense. It felt natural. However, I realized this only made sense as the one leaving. Those left behind who experienced the distancing in relationships long before actual departure were often left hurt and confused.

I knew I had a choice to make.

I could protect myself by allowing the distancing process to begin, or I could lean into it. Leaning into my relationships with those who could not come with me, showing them how much I loved and valued them, would cost me in the end. Loving with my whole heart, without protective walls or barriers, without drawing back to guard against what was coming was frightening. I chose to do it anyway. 

Packing became secondary to playing with kids in the village. Sitting with the women in the kitchen just to chat and watch them work became a priority. Dispersing items we would not take back with us became intentional opportunities to bless others who had been such a blessing to us. I soaked in every moment I could. I did my very best to love well all the way to the very end.

The cost of leaving this way was high.

I paid the price for months after we were back in the States and needed the help of a Godly therapist to work through it. I share all of this with you not to toot my own horn but instead to challenge what we as believers are willing to do in order to love others. We know we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39) but how far are we willing to go?

Sometimes loving others is scary because we know we could get hurt.

For example, saying yes to foster care means saying yes to a whole lot of difficult and complex situations and emotions. Saying yes to loving the homeless, troubled teens, convicts, or victims of human trafficking means opening our hearts to a slew of potential negative outcomes. Loving without restraint is also the very best way to change a life. Christ did it for us. He loved us to the point of being tortured and killed. He held nothing back from us. We are not greater than our master and Lord (John 13:16) so what right do we have to protect ourselves from heartbreak?

Is there something you know God has called you to do, but you have not stepped into it out of fear of what it might cost you? Have you withheld your whole heart from others for the sake of self-preservation? What might it look like to go all in with loving others, no matter what the cost?