Can Struggle Actually be God’s Helpful Presence at Work in our Lives?

One of the hardest things for me to do as a parent is to watch my children struggle.

I know a level of struggle is necessary to help them grow, but how much is the right amount of struggle? The problem is there is no formula to know just how much is enough. I have one child who learns best through hard knocks and another who learns well through contemplative reflection. They both need exposure to different amounts and types of struggle in order to grow.

While not every difficulty is a lesson in the making, I am incredibly thankful for my Father in Heaven who knows me. He knows just how, when, and to what extent to challenge me in order for me to truly learn something. As the perfect loving parent, He always knows what my weaknesses are, where I need to grow, and what it will take to get me there.

The prophet Isaiah declared this truth about God knowing His people in Isaiah 28:23-29. In the Enduring Word Commentary David Guzik explains:

“[This] is a poem relating the work of God and the work of a farmer. A farmer doesn’t only plow; he knows when to stop plowing and when to level the ground, when to plant, and what to plant where. A farmer uses different tools at different times and works them all together to produce crops. In the same way, God knows what instruments to use in our lives, and when to use them. We don’t have to doubt or despair at what God is doing in our lives, because He is an expert farmer, working on us with all His wisdom.”

The hard part is, God doesn’t always communicate with us about His methods.

This can be tough when I am the one who is struggling. It becomes much harder when I see someone I am close to wrestling through something, and I can’t understand for the life of me what God is up to. 

My daughter has battled with school work her entire academic career.

She has had to fight for every bit of book learning she has been required to do. I have advocated for her through diagnostic testing, with our pediatrician, and with the school. As much as I want to take this trial away from her and make school easier, I have discovered I cannot. To take it one step farther, I have found I need to let her be the one to fight for herself. 

Over the last three years I have chosen to back off and let my daughter begin to advocate for herself. This was difficult to do as I had no reassurance she would be willing or able to do what was necessary not just to get by, but to excel. The more room I gave her to be her own advocate, the more she came alive. Through the struggle, my daughter has gained the confidence to ask questions, seek extra help, use various tools made available to her, and what it means to really work hard at something.

Had it been up to me, I would not have allowed my daughter to struggle in this way or to this extent. If I hadn’t would not be the powerhouse she is today. God always knows best. Psalm 32:8 says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” God knows in what areas we need to grow, and just what it will take to get us there. This is an important lesson for me to remember. 

I will continually need God’s guidance to know if or how I should intervene in someone else’s struggles.

I will likely need even more help to pause and consider what He might be trying to teach me in the midst of my own difficulties. As much as I may not like it, allowing myself or someone else to walk through a trial might just be the best path for us.

Have you ever begged God to remove a struggle, only to look back and realize it was actually the best thing for you or someone else?