A gallon jug of water is strategically placed on the floor so as to be in arms reach, yet not in the way.
Next to it, a towel roughly the size of what you would classify as a hand towel rests waiting to be used. But, this towel is not for drying hands that were just washed. Music with a bumpin’ beat escapes headphones as the volume is cranked up loud enough to drown out negative thoughts and all other distracting sounds in the room. The bulky human being with this well rehearsed set up lets out a loud grunt/yell as he or she draws on the last few ounces of strength left to finish that last rep. Have you seen this person at the gym before? Are you that person?
I have never been a full on gym-junkie, but I am no stranger to exercise.
Through different seasons of life I have been a gym membership faithful, an at home workout guru, Zumba enthusiast, hip hop dance fitness class regular, Couch to 5K runner, and YouTube yoga explorer. I have taken a Pilates class, learned to play racquetball and tennis for the sake of exercise, and walked for miles. My strength and fitness level has ebbed and flowed with the amount of dedication and consistency I have put into these various forms of exercise.
In truth, I like being fit. I enjoy feeling strong and capable of taking on physically demanding tasks that come up in living out day to day life.
Being able to keep up with my young kids was important to me. There is no way I was going to allow my five year old to out run me! Being able to push harder and go longer wasn’t always fun in the moment. However, consistently led to a sense of satisfaction after the fact. When I have been physically fit the door was opened to long hikes, racing in the pool, dancing the night away and many other opportunities.
Right now, I am not in a space of being able to do all of the things I want to do.
Living in Haiti led to a lot of weight gain and our return to the U.S. Arriving just months before COVID, only added more pounds. My fitness level sank to one of its greatest lows after being at its peak. A height I reached just before we shifted into preparing for the mission field. I have been slowly fighting my way back but have hit a few snags along the way.
I am genetically gifted with bad joints.
Years of volleyball and large swings in weight have done a number on the advancement of arthritis in my knees. Last June I had my first knee surgery. The doctor cleaned up some of the cartilage that was shredding in all three parts of my knee joint. Now, less than a year later, I am recovering from surgery on my opposite knee. This time it was for a torn meniscus and more arthritis-related cleanup.
Physical Therapy is very different from what I am used to doing in my workouts.
Instead of doing large movements that call on all of my strength such as a weighted squat, I am now just trying to slide my heel as close to my bum as I can while laying on the floor. The exercises I am assigned in physical therapy always feel small and borderline silly. Rather than squatting 100 lbs in a rack, I am sitting in a chair with a flimsy resistance band around my ankles moving one foot forward six inches while keeping the other one still.
Working out and physical therapy are very different.
Physical therapy requires me to find my point of pain and push to or just beyond it. Yet, the rule of thumb for exercising is to push yourself, but to stop short of being in pain. One requires working the same muscles over and over again in the same way multiple times in a day. The other typically requires variation and days off before working the same muscle group again. Progress in physical therapy can feel slow and tedious. Results from a workout can be felt within a few days. I find it to be very satisfying to be able to go ten seconds longer, stretch deeper, or to push out one more rep by my next workout. Instead, physical therapy has me doing the same exercises day after day. It can require several days or even a week to see tangible progress.
The contrast between the two paths to muscle growth and strength building reflect my walk with God.
At times I am healthy and strong. I pursue Him on a regular basis, pushing myself to go deeper and walk with Him more obediently. Exercises of faith that require full trust in God strengthen my spiritual muscles. Other times, I have been spiritually sluggish, inconsistent, and compromising. In these intervals, my faith becomes weaker, and I am slower to choose God over myself.
I have also had to work my way back from spiritual injury.
There have been times when I took to heart something presented as spiritual truth that was really a lie. More than once I have been devastated when God didn’t answer my seemingly righteous prayer in the way I begged and pleaded for Him to. In another instance a person who I looked to for understanding about who Christ is left me wounded and questioning the goodness and love of God instead.
Working through spiritual “rehab” can be just as slow, painful, and challenging as going through physical therapy. It requires digging into the pain to separate out the truth from the lie. Facing the heartache for the sake of healing. Going back to the same verses in Scripture repeatedly until they really begin to take hold and bring change. Rehab is not a time of explosive growth but a season of steady, consistent effort. There is no need for “big weight” exercises such as Bible studies that require hours of work and deep contemplation.
Spiritual rehab is more about not giving up or being content with limping for the rest of your life. It is admitting that you can’t do much right now but you are willing to do what you can. Read a verse of the day. Complete a short devotional. Pray for just a few minutes several times a day. Eventually, your spiritual muscles will work their way back to a healthy place. Once again, or for the first time, you can start doing some heavier lifting. Allow yourself the time and grace needed for healing but never give up working toward good health.
I am so very thankful that even when my physical body needs time to rest and heal, I can still engage in spiritually challenging exercises.
Today I will lay on my back to do my heel slides. But I will also be grabbing my gallon of spiritual water, sweat towel, cranked up worship music, and hit the mat for a good strong spiritual workout too.
Omg!! This is so good! Well said.
It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one whose devotional time ebbs and flows. This is a good time to recall the old saying, “Well begun is half done.” Half of the will power required for a good work-out is used to clear the schedule and actually GO to the gym. The same is often true for “God & I ” time. Nobody wants a “check-the-box” relationship, especially Father God. Still, scheduling a regular time and place to meet with Him can really be the difference to making it happen.
Thanks for sharing, Kristin.
Yes! It is very much a both/and situation. If I don’t schedule it or make intentional time for it, it is just not going to happen. At the same time just showing up to say I did it isn’t what He is looking for. I am just thankful God has enough grace for all the seasons of life we walk through.