Living with the Unexpected

The last two years have felt like a world-wide lesson in living with the unexpected.

My personality type leans toward anxiety and preparing for the worst.  Many of the worst case scenarios that life could bring have passed through my mind and I have made a plan for how I would deal with them. However, I never thought about having to live through a pandemic. On the other hand, I have spent time pondering what war with a superpower like Russia or China might look like here in the US, but I never gave any credence to it. Never would I have actually believed that we could be staring down another Cold War with Russia or even possibly another World War.

There is a lot of talk these days about mental health and the toll all of this has taken on people.

 I am no exception to that. Some of the uncertainties we have all faced in the recent months, and even years, have been trauma triggers for me. There have also been times when my anxiety flared up almost to the point of being out of control. Living with the unexpected isn’t easy!

 Big issues like war and global illness can be classified as “once in a lifetime,” however, our lives are filled with unexpected events every day.

The unforeseen death of a loved one, the unplanned surgery, the illness that came out of nowhere, the cancer diagnosis when there is no history of it in the family, the car accident that has far reaching effects, or the foolish decision someone else made that sent ripples through your life. We have all lived through these things and the ones we haven’t, we know someone who has. 

Jesus said that he came to bring us life, abundant life (John 10:10).

Living with anxiety and stress over the unexpected circumstances of life, whether big or small, does not seem to fit into the idea of abundant life. How do we find the abundant life that Jesus was talking about without sticking our heads in the sand and relying on denial to get through the undesirable unexpected?

I believe the answer lies in Luke 9:23, “And He said to them all, ‘If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily, and follow Me’” (KJ21). I love the way the Message version paraphrases this verse: “Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: ‘Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how.’”

The times in life that I have tried to remain in control of an issue, predict its outcome, or even fully understand all of the angles, are the times when stress and anxiety skyrocketed.

 This verse in Luke tells me that following Jesus, and therefore finding abundant life, means letting go of control. Letting Jesus be in the driver’s seat of my life.

My daughter is almost 14 and is itching to drive already. Without being instructed, she has started paying attention to the way I drive. She has even become confident enough in her knowledge of how to operate behind the wheel that she has spoken up on more than one occasion when she thinks that I could be doing something differently. Sometimes she has a point, and I have to humbly make a correction. Most of the time though, her input shows a lack of understanding and experience regarding the laws of the road and safe operation of a motor vehicle.

Knowing the amount of patience it takes on my part to handle her innocently erroneous statements, it makes me thankful that God’s patience never runs out.

How many times have I told Him how He should do His job? How often do I say “ya know, you could always just…”, only for my words to be filled with a lack of understanding of what is actually happening in the moment? 

Just as I, the experienced driver in the car, see, hear, and know things that my daughter doesn’t, my Heavenly Father sees and knows things that I don’t. As the passenger in His car, my job is to trust that He knows what He is doing, where He is going, and the best way to get there. When I get worked up about why He chose a certain road or route (likely because I feel like I know a better one), the only result is getting worked up about something that I can’t control.

Releasing control is a practice.

 It has been a process for me and sometimes I fail miserably. I take my eyes off who the driver is and see only the road ahead. I see all of the difficulties  that could happen along the way to an unknown destination and forget to trust the One who sees all, knows all, and is in control of all things. Stress and anxiety creep in until I realize what is going on and ask for his help to let go again and surrender to Him once more. 

The unexpected is going to come. There is no way to stop it. We know that now more than ever. The only choice I have is how to respond to it. Do I try to take the wheel and navigate through it with my limited understanding and perspective? Or do I lay down control of my life, pick up my cross, and follow Jesus?